₪ ωнιѕρєяѕ fяσм ωιтнιи ₪: JolieJabber

A Letter To:

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 20:57:40 GMT

To Him,

Cheer up! I know its hard but please do not give up on yourself. You have people that love you even though you dont believe it. You are too great of a person to waste so much time singing the blues! (You're probably thinking, "take your own advice", haha yes I know!) In many ways you are a genius and you make me laugh...hard...long...and often! TeeHee sound familiar? I know this is a trying time for you and you see no end in sight but I know things will get better for you eventually. Please have faith in life, and more importantly yourself. Time will make it easier, just hold on to "yourself" until then!

Luv you, xo Me

To Her,

You are the most messed up person I've ever known, seen, or heard of! Trust me when I say that's not an easy statement to live up to, but you my dear not only live up to it, you surpass it! I know you are "stupid" by default but you take it to a whole new level. Howis it possible for you to have no standards, morals, or values whatsoever? Are we not born with some form of moral compass? This must not be true because you do not have one. You are actually content to live your life as a bottom feeder. How can this be? I'll never understand. You could of had so much more, been so much more, but you threw it all away. Why did you do this? To live up to your scum status? Congratulations f*ck up, you must be so proud of yourself! You alone have destroyed any chance you had of living a decent life. Everyone will always know you as "the huge screw up" for the rest of your pathetic existence. How does that make you feel? I can't believe you are "okay" with everything you have done. You have ruined the relationships you had with people who cared for you, about you. Your disgusting actions and all your lies! Why lie anyway? So many people already know "the real" you, including your family members now, and you've already created a bad name for yourself in two cities. What are you hiding from? You have no problems being what you are so why can't you OWN what you are?!? We handed you a gold platter and you were quick to trade it in for an old rusty can...WTF? You are so messed up! You need professional help!

Barf On You, blah Me

JM~

Grr...Roar!!!

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 22:55:42 GMT

Grr..Roar! Say it with me...

GRR...ROAR!!!

I've been trying to catch up on all my comments for the past two months and I'm still not caught up. How bad is that? Life has been extremely frustrating as of late. Alot of downs and no ups to pull me from the depths. Not to mention losing my internet access for a while and most likely losing it again in another week or so. Thats one of the main reasons I havent been able to catch up around here. Why do I even care? Well...I value all my visitors and enjoy visiting others. Also I hate falling behind in anything and everything because then I get overwhelmed and put off catching up even longer. Thus creating a cycle of always being behind. Not the best way to live your life trust me.

So...here I am once again trying to catch up on comments. Will I succeed?

We'll see...Grr...Roar!!!

JM~

Tammy Faye Messner Dies at Age 65 of Inoperable Cancer

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 04:31:49 GMT

Speaking of cancer I wouldnt be surprised if every single person on the 2nd floor of the building I currently live in, dies of cancer as well. The downside being I live on the second floor! Other downsides being:

I am the ONLY non-smoker on the second floor.

The landlord lives on the second floor.

The landlord lives right beside me on the second floor.

The landlord is the WORST smoker on the second floor!

I am currently in a heated feud with my landlord over the amount of cigarette smoke that enters my apartment. So much so that it angers me just writing this blog, which I am doing with a shaking leg and thoughts of going over there and punching him in the face, lol! Not only is he a MAJOR chain smoker, he leaves his apartment door WIDE open while smoking the remainder of his life away. This is the main problem I have because the smoke fills the hallway which in return fills my apartment. Cigarette smoke is disgusting but on top of my personal opinion cigarette smoke makes me physically ill. It triggers my migraines, greatly bothers my asthma, makes my eyes itchy, causes me to sneeze over and over again amongst other things. My landlord doesnt care and says its my problem. He's right there because it is my problem. Everyone else on the floor smokes as well so they are not bothered by the TOXIC air. I am not bothered by any of the other tenants though because they close their doors like normal people do. I feel I have the right to live here without being bothered by ones choice to slowly smoke themselves to death. I also feel that my landlord should have to keep his apartment door closed at all times while he is smoking. Yes he has the right to smoke within his unit, but with his door open? I think not! Not to mention he at times smokes within the common areas of the building right alongside the NO SMOKING signs! GRR! My efforts to have him close his door and keep it closed have failed. So what do I do? I constantly prop open the fire door which leads to the stairs creating an escape route for some of the toxicity. My landlord, of course, comes along and closes it as soon as he notices I've opened it again. As an added bonus he even tapes up signs to the door going on about how it needs to remain closed. To which I reply with my own special note for him going on about how HIS door needs to remained closed. Tonight we even had it out over the phone. GRR! I will very soon be moving out of here for the fact that I cannot live somewhere where I cannot even breathe. I think I will place a complaint about my landlord too. Although, due to the fact that I am moving, I'm sure nothing will be done. At least I will get slight satisfaction placing the complaint, and if nothing else, my voice will be heard!

Blog Information Profile for MissMae

JM~

Who Is This Man?

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 18:14:29 GMT

Who is this man?
He speaks my name
An unrecognizable voice

Fingers like ice
Distant eyes
A cold heart wont beat for me

His selfishness
Forgotten love
Lost in your misunderstandings

Is this the new norm?
Our future to be?
To have and to hold and to hate?

Who is this man?
He speaks in vain
An undesirable voice

Blog Information Profile for MissMae

JM~

Crossover

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 04:56:32 GMT

This is my lack of blog, blog, aka the lil blog that lacks. I'm extremely bored, desperate for St. Huberts, and want to go fishing. Might I add that this is the most futile blog I've ever written. I was so bored I decided to blog but then I realized I had nothing to blog about. So...I googled BLOG IDEAS. (Pathetic? YES) Found a few sites with supposed great blog ideas but all they inspired me to blog about was my lack of blog ideas. One recommended using the word CROSSOVER in the title, hence my title. Why? I have no idea. The same page also recommended using the words DESPERATE and FUTILE in the post, and so I did. Why? I have no idea. Can you guess what their 101 blog suggestion was? Hmm... :P

You may have noticed that I changed the look of my page. I added a few more gadgets as well. Please let me know if this has slowed my page for you.

Sincerely, so bored I've gone insane JM~

Blog Information Profile for MissMae

(place extremely bumpy road sign here)

Sun, 20 May 2007 23:24:40 GMT

UPDATE

There is a poetry contest going on now over at To the Imagination and Beyond! I submitted two entries in the "inner struggles" category. Entry #7-R.I.P. and Entry #8-Watering My Soul. There are four different categories and you are allowed one vote in each. You can read the rules ->here. Please head on over To the Imagination and Beyond and cast your votes! Do your part in bringing back more interaction to Windows Live Spaces!!!

**********

My baby is sick! For those of you who dont know, my baby is Charlie, and Charlie is my dog, better known as my heart! He hadnt been eating well for a couple of weeks, lost a bit of weight, and was throwing up here and there. It all came to a head when he started bleeding out his bum. He lost puddles of blood out his bum hole ALL OVER my apartment. Once I was able to grab him I sat with him keeping him on the floored area. Needless to say by this time my apartment looked and smelled like a murder scene. It was absolutely disgusting! My poor lil baby!

Off to the vet we went. A $400 vet bill later, which I so cant afford right now for numerous reasons, they tell me he has an infection in his bowels. I dont quite understand how an infection could cause so much blood loss but maybe he had it for a while without my knowing. Anyway, he is home now and doing okay. Although he's extremely moody, even aggressive, which is unlike him. Hopefully he will soon return to his silly, cuddly self. Another bump in the road, of what seems like a never ending bumpy road, called my life.

UPDATE ON CHARLIE

Charlie was on his way to getting better but after his meds were gone he became very ill AGAIN. The vet has refilled his meds and we are starting back at square one! I pray this second round of meds cures him because I'm all tapped out!!!

JM~

Sweet 20Two

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 20:41:05 GMT

My brother just had his 16th birthday and now my sister will have her 22nd! On Friday the 13th to be exact. Good thing she's not superstitious.

Myself and a few of our friends will be having a party for her on Saturday. After that we'll be heading out to dance the night away. I bought some "dirty" party favours to spice up the party, and to bring to the bar with us afterwards. It should be quite the sight!

I just hope that when Saturday rolls around I feel much better than I do now! I've had either a headache or a migraine every single day for over a month! I usually get at least a couple per week but nothing to quite this extent. I'm a total write off when I have a bad headache or a migraine so I guess I'll just keep hoping for the best! :D

JM~

Sweet 6Teen

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 18:19:43 GMT

On March 26th my lil bro turned 16! I guess he's not so lil anymore. When I think of all the things I was doing when I was 16, even before I was 16, I thank the lord he's more reserved. I feel like a protective parent...too protective. Now that he is at the age where he will begin to explore more of life, the good and the bad, I worry about him more. The choices he will make and all that stuff. I feel he isnt as informed about sex and drugs as he should be. I also have seen how he is one to give in to peer pressure. Numerous times over the years I've tried to have "talks" with him about it all but he doesnt feel comfortable opening up because I'm female. I've told him so many times that he can talk to me about anything but its a no go. I feel he doesnt know just how open of a person I am. He could talk to me about his testicles being itchy for all I care. It also doesnt help that he is miles more advanced in sign language then I. I feel so bad when I'm always asking him to slow down or spell it out as we try to converse. One of these days I'll get off my ass and take more classes.

For his birthday I went with him to get his eyebrow pierced. I thought for sure he would chicken out. He's the type of person that feels faint and nauseous at the sight of blood or a nasty wound. He did great though! He appeared to be less nervous then I was when I got my first piercing at 14. I love piercings and am more accepting of all kinds of piercings then others in my family. I was happy to share the experience with my brother and will do it again if he decides to get anymore.

I love my lil bro and I hope his future is a bright one!

JM~

friendless friend

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 18:14:08 GMT

Here I am another month later realizing that I need to update AGAIN! I guess one update a month has become my norm on here. How lame of me! I think about all my "space" friends and have every intent on visiting you guys but I guess the time just slips away from me. I've also fell victim to "slow spaces". I dont know what happened because I've never had this problem before. Only when changes were introduced. As far as I know there havent been any new changes. Anyways since I've been such a bad friend on here I decided to post a poem I wrote about "bad" friends. TeeHee!

invisible it seems
not thought about it shows
can it really be that easy
to forget the ones you know

it only takes a bit of effort
to play the role of friend
but still you shrug me off
like it dont matter in the end

i try to be there for you
little things to show i care
no gratitude you show me
a simple thank you would be fair

i dont want to give up on you
all the things that we could share
but what good is a friend...
a friend who's never there

invisible it seems
not thought about it shows
can it really be that easy
to forget the ones you know

Long time no update...

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 17:13:38 GMT

I didnt realize how long its been since I updated, until today that is. I've been busy and/or preoccupied with doctor appointments coming out my be bop boop beep. Yesterday was my 25th birthday and I'm feeling old and frumpy. I start celebrating tonight though WooHoo! Next week should be the last of my appointments for a while and I'm so looking forward it! With all the curve balls being thrown my way I just havent had the time or desire to keep up with all my online homes. Which I have too many of in the first place. Windows Live Spaces being my favourite by far though! I miss all my friends on here, and I miss visiting your pages, and reading your blogs. Once things have settled down a bit I'll eventually catch up with everyone on here. Thanx to all who are still stopping by. Big thanx to the ones who left me birthday comments!

P.S. If I dont get to you all before Valentines Day...

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

JM~

The blog I never wanted to write:

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 22:52:21 GMT

:Goiter Girl reporting for blog duty:

I must say I'm very disappointed in "life" as of late. One of my only true non bs friends is recovering from very recent brain surgery. She had a tumor removed. A tumor which happens to be cancerous, so she will treated accordingly to hopefully recover 100% and be cancer free. I went to see her in the hospital right after she got the tumor removed. The next morning I woke up with a lump in my throat. HaHa...a tad too ironic for my liking. This lump, which I will refer to as "the nodule", is on my thyroid gland. Its fairly large and you can see it sticking out which is just nasty! So...now its my turn to see if I have cancer. I had bloodwork done today and on Thursday I'll be having an ultrasound. After that I'll be booked for a thyroid uptake scan. During the thyroid uptake scan I'll be injected with radioactive dye. This does not sit well with me at all! I prefer to not be injected by anything at all let alone radioactive dye! I'm going to turn from Goiter Girl into Radioactive Goiter Girl in 2.3 seconds...anyone looking for a new comic book villan? Whether it is cancerous or not I'll most likely have to have surgery to remove "the nodule" anyway. I hate hospitals, I hate doctors, and most of all I hate surgery. I'm actually terrified of it...VERY terrified! I'm supposed to have surgery for an unrelated health problem but have put that off for years due to my surgery fears. I will continue to put it off until that problem becomes life threatening due to my surgery fears. I was really hoping that I wouldnt have any worsening or new health problems for some time to come. I'm 24 years old and have already had numerous health problems varying in severity. From my heart, to my brain, to my blood, endometriosis, and other things along the way. Most of which I still suffer from. I felt as though I had more than enough on my plate!...BUT!...being an overeater I guess there is always room for a lil more! I've never wrote a blog that made mentions of my health problems before because I didnt really want any of you to know. Not even the people closest to me know all about my health problems. Some people know a lil but no one knows the whole story. My most severe health problems all started within 2 years of each other. I tried to share what I was going through with my friends and family but felt none of them understood. I still feel that way today so I keep my feelings about it all inside. Letting them show only to myself in my moments of weakness! I just simply make some people aware of my health problems so they know why I seem to fall off the face of the earth from time to time. So why write the blog I never wanted to write? Hmm...thats a good question.

:Goiter Girl signing off:

JM~